i know there was a heck of a lot of complaining going on in the past few weeks - homesickness, frustration at the repetitive nights out, frustration with my 20-hour-a-week spanish course, annoyance with the aggressive boys, etc. etc. - but with the events of the past week, my outlook has finally completely changed.
after my trip to honduras, i am more confused than ever as to what i want to do with the rest of my life. pretty much since my junior year in high school, i have been convinced that international medicine is it. but with as little as three days in that village, everything has been flipped upside down.
being functional with spanish, i got to spend a lot of one on one time with the honduran doctors in the clinic. one thing one of the doctors said to me has stood out to me above all else. he told me that his favorite part of becoming a doctor is being able to interact with the patients, both rich and poor, to get to touch them and get to know them and help them in a really tangible manner. he said being a doctor is like being an artist, a scientist, and one other thing that's escaping me right now, all in one. essentially, his point was that everything he loved - from real human interaction to knowing he's making a tangible impact on humanity - was attainable through his practice.
i was both inspired by watching him and incredibly saddened. i think growing up in a developed country has left me feeling like death must be conquered at every turn. with the incredible technology and medical advances made every day, people are living longer and longer. i realized in honduras that this obsession with extending life is supremely unnatural. all these economic problems the states are facing can, in part, be directly attributed to the baby boomers who are increasingly relying on social security and medicare. it may sound barbaric but sometimes, it's just time to let go.
what we did in honduras was nothing more than a band-aid solution. through all my classes on global health/poverty, i was led to believe that big-name infectious diseases like TB and malaria are the most dire problems citizens of developing countries face. what I learned was that the three main things that affect people in the rural areas are things like dehydration that kills a lot of kids under five, malnutrition and parasites. in the cities, we find things that affect us in the States – things like depression and alcoholism.
with an incredible lack of public health education, the things that affect these people are things that doctors can't fix. ignoring the lack of access to any form of screening or testing which was the one of the biggest sources of my disillusionment as to how much of a difference a doctor can actually make in these impoverished areas, i was equally disillusioned by how little the people i interacted with knew about simple preventative care, about taking care of themselves and their families. less than a third of the people knew how to purify their water and those who did know didn't do it because they didn't really think it was that important. they failed to connect the lack of clean water with the parasites every single one of their children had. these parasites made the kids incredibly sick so they barely ever actually made it to school which embeds them even deeper into this sick cycle of poverty. without education, the kids are relegated to the same manual labor jobs as their parents and will very rarely amount to anything more. without productive citizens advancing the nation, these developing countries will never really develop and become competitive in an increasingly globalized market.
i was left to question, then, whether my talents would be better used as a doctor (because even with all the disillusionment, the satisfaction my doctors garnered as they helped their own people in this make-shift clinic was very, very real) or as some kind of policy-maker, perhaps, helping to set up infrastructure to target the needs of these villages. that, unfortunately, is a question i still have yet to answer and my time to decide is running out fairly quickly.
which brings me back to the purpose of this post. in the past week, i've interacted with an incredible amount of argentine citizens about their lives and the problems they see in their own country. additionally, i've finally started my integrated course at the university with other argentine students. the class is entitled human rights, gender and social work. it is very much like the critical gender studies classes i've taken at ucsd and i have to admit, it's wonderful to not have to learn new material but rather learn material i already know in spanish. this way, i'm not missing vital information but i'm learning the vocabulary and a specialized outlook from a latin american/argentine point of view. in the first class, i didn't participate but rather sat back and listened to the perspectives of both my classmates and the professor.
i've been feeling this way for quite a while but sitting in that class and just absorbing everything around me, i've started thinking that maybe i limited the options of what i can do with the rest of my life too early. one of the most influential role models in my life, my eldest cousin, told me repeatedly that if medicine is truly what i wanted to do, i would be immensely satisfied with my career choice as she is. but there was a huge possibility that i could find very many other paths that would lead me to the same amount of satisfaction.
after this class and these conversations with the locals, i'm really excited to truly start taking advantage of the opportunities available to me here. i've complained for much too long and the truth is that i'm here for the next five months so i might as well live it up to the best of my ability. i've been talking to the directors of my program a lot over the past week and they're going to put me into contact with a couple of ngo's in the city. i'm hoping to score an internship with one of them and start extending a lot more feelers into other career options. the goal is to finally commit to something by the time i come back home. i still have a ton to learn before i can do that, though, and i'm so excited to get started (:
Friday, August 12, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
you're a challenge. let's explore your talents.
it's been pretty much forever since i've last blogged which, really, is a good thing because it means that i've been too busy to sit at my computer for an extended period of time to write (:
before i forget - or before you get bored of this post and stop reading - i have to share the latest pick-up lines of the day.
1. very, very loud kissing sound that made me turn my head only because i didn't believe it was possible for a human to make that sound so loudly. and when he got my attention, all he had to say was "hola." haha. he clearly needs to work on his pick-up line skills.
2. "que bonita que sos, comiendo tu manzana."
translation: how beautiful you are, eating your apple.
yup. apparently something about the way i eat my apples is a turn-on. so as a warning, beware if you're around me while i munch on my granny smiths. i might very well just make you fall in love with me.
3. boys screaming the lyrics to american songs in your ear when you're at the club. it seems that they think knowing english words makes them a million times more awesome (which it kind of does because they have the cutest accent.. (: ) and when they find out you're american, they try even harder. it's pretty sweet haha.
last week was a blur of activity. on monday and tuesday, we had to do immigration stuff and i now officially have my temporary visa (: looks like i might actually be legally staying in this country until december. yay! i had my spanish final on thursday and thursday night, we took off for the weekend and headed to buenos aires.
the only word i can think of to describe buenos aires is phenomenal. i fell in love with everything about the city and it really made me think that perhaps i chose the wrong city to live in. we took a bus from córdoba that was supposed to take 10 hours and i was pretty much dreading it but it turned out to be a suuper comfy (you can see pictures of the entire trip, including the bus, here!) and i slept relatively well.
on friday, we went on a three hour city tour. buenos aires is huuge and there was so much to see on that first day. i'm not the biggest history buff but i truly enjoyed hearing about buenos aires' extensive history and the stories behind all the buildings. i took a LOT of pictures of the buildings because most of them have retained the original facade from colonial times.
we also went to la plaza de mayo and la casa rosada (the pink house). i think the one thing i consistently heard about argentina before coming here was the story of los desaparecidos (the disappeared). the history is moving and if you're truly interested, you should read about it from the source. for the purposes of giving you a short background, though, there was a coup after juan perón's presidency beginning in 1976. the dictatorship, as is common with most dictatorships, was terrified of any insurgency and began rounding up anyone who opposed the military. unfortunately, hundreds of people who were unaffiliated with the resistance movement were also kidnapped. of those captured, as many as 130 young girls were pregnant. they gave birth in prison and their children were either killed, abandoned or adopted by military families. most of their mothers were murdered. to this day, almost 35 years later, las abuelas de la plaza de mayo (grandmothers of the plaza de mayo) are still looking for their grandchildren. they don't necessarily want to bring them back into the folds of their family but rather believe that the children, adults now, have a right to know where they came from. remember that most of these kids were raised by military families, raised to believe that the dictatorship was just and right and their replacement by democratic government was a mistake. obviously, it would be incredibly difficult for these kids to intertwine themselves with families who were victimized by their adoptive parents. anyway, las abuelas are still very much active in la plaza de mayo and their pañuelos (handkerchiefs) are painted on the ground in the plaza.
la casa rosada is not where the president lives but is where she, and the executive offices, conduct their business. i didn't actually go inside but from what i heard, the guards were a lot more interested in flirting with the american girls than guarding the place. i wasn't that surprised..
on saturday, we went to eva perón's museum. that girl, besides being a wonderful human being, had a kiiiilller fashion sense. i wish i had been awake enough to take pictures of all her dresses to show you. we went to a little neighborhood called la boca (the mouth). la boca is said to have had some influence in the development of tango and every restaurant had live music and tango dancing. i definitely had myself some fun with the tango dancer (:
on saturday night, we went to a tango show which included dinner. oh my eff. the dinner was ridiculously good (as was the lunch buffet the day before. i definitely ate my weight in chocolate at the buffet... i have no idea where this sudden obsession with chocolate has come from considering how much i used to hate it..) and except for a piece of chicken that was hidden in my salad and i accidently bit into, it was both a wonderful meal and a wonderful show.
sunday, though, was hands down my FAVORITE day of the trip. we spent the entire morning at artisan's fairs and all the culture i've been looking for, all the people i've wanted to talk to on this trip, i found there. the first artist we stopped to talk to was originally from colombia but couldn't stand staying in one city for too long and so has been traveling up and down latin america for years. he lives off the money he makes from his jewelry and while we stopped to talk to him, he made my friend and i matching rings to remember each other by.
every street corner had live music and dancing and i can't really tell you how many times we stopped just to listen. i've been to a loot of live shows in the states but nothing really compares to the way these artists truly feel the music. as you watch them, it's as if you can tell that the music is coming from a place deep within their souls and it always affects me the same way. i don't think i have ever felt any better than i do when i watch live, unadulterated music that's not played for commercial or money-making purposes but truly comes from a place deep within. its infectious.
we talked to other artists, too, but only one more stood out to me.
he caught my attention because he was wearing a shirt with an om emblazoned across it. if you've read my previous posts, you know that i feel like a fish out of water here because i'm the only south asian i have ever seen in this country. to see a latin american man wearing an om shirt was definitely just as out of place. he was selling mandalas, which according to him, are like dream catchers but serve a greater purpose. instead of only focusing on dreams, mandalas are used to absorb bad energy and emit good energy. i bought one for myself made with green string, both because it's my favorite color and because green represents everything that has to do with mother earth. in essence, the mandala should help me stabilize myself and help me feel grounded, which at this point in my life, is certainly a necessity. i can also use all the good energy the universe has to give me as challenge after challenge arises during this incredible journey.
having bought my own mandala, i realized that i also wanted one made for someone who, i swear, shares my soul. i wanted hers personalized to fit her needs and i sat with him as he made her mandala. he was raised in the judeo-christian tradition and his mother was an aborigine and his father was from some south american country but i can't really remember which one. in any case, when he was a teenager, he stumbled upon eastern philosophy, the bhagvad gita (one of the hindu holy books) and, of course, the om. he said he was instantly drawn towards it and as he rebelled further and further from his christian upbringing, he started exploring the ancient magic of his mother's tribe. there, he learned how to make the mandalas. he said that whenever he feels stressed, he makes the mandalas because they not only serve other people when they buy them which in turns feeds him and gives him a place to sleep but also because he finds that it has a very healing effect on his soul. we thus started a conversation about souls and when i told him i think i have a very old soul, he said he thought the same thing the first time he looked into my eyes. in his estimation, i was a shaman in a past life which, according to what i want to do with the rest of my life, makes a heck of a lot of sense. i felt such a strong connection to him.
even if you don't believe in souls and are reading this and laughing at the load of bullshit, i'm sure its very easy to imagine how exciting it was to be able to have a very real, deep, philosophical conversation with an aborigine of latin america, who travels throughout the continent and has experienced so much. in the thirty minutes i sat with him, i feel like i got a very concrete understanding of his way of life and, quite honestly, to understand other people's cultures and ways of living is all i'm hoping to gain from this journey.
i left buenos aires feeling incredibly content. three days most definitely was not long enough to truly explore all the city has to offer & i absolutely cannot wait to go back.
before i forget - or before you get bored of this post and stop reading - i have to share the latest pick-up lines of the day.
1. very, very loud kissing sound that made me turn my head only because i didn't believe it was possible for a human to make that sound so loudly. and when he got my attention, all he had to say was "hola." haha. he clearly needs to work on his pick-up line skills.
2. "que bonita que sos, comiendo tu manzana."
translation: how beautiful you are, eating your apple.
yup. apparently something about the way i eat my apples is a turn-on. so as a warning, beware if you're around me while i munch on my granny smiths. i might very well just make you fall in love with me.
3. boys screaming the lyrics to american songs in your ear when you're at the club. it seems that they think knowing english words makes them a million times more awesome (which it kind of does because they have the cutest accent.. (: ) and when they find out you're american, they try even harder. it's pretty sweet haha.
last week was a blur of activity. on monday and tuesday, we had to do immigration stuff and i now officially have my temporary visa (: looks like i might actually be legally staying in this country until december. yay! i had my spanish final on thursday and thursday night, we took off for the weekend and headed to buenos aires.
the only word i can think of to describe buenos aires is phenomenal. i fell in love with everything about the city and it really made me think that perhaps i chose the wrong city to live in. we took a bus from córdoba that was supposed to take 10 hours and i was pretty much dreading it but it turned out to be a suuper comfy (you can see pictures of the entire trip, including the bus, here!) and i slept relatively well.
on friday, we went on a three hour city tour. buenos aires is huuge and there was so much to see on that first day. i'm not the biggest history buff but i truly enjoyed hearing about buenos aires' extensive history and the stories behind all the buildings. i took a LOT of pictures of the buildings because most of them have retained the original facade from colonial times.
we also went to la plaza de mayo and la casa rosada (the pink house). i think the one thing i consistently heard about argentina before coming here was the story of los desaparecidos (the disappeared). the history is moving and if you're truly interested, you should read about it from the source. for the purposes of giving you a short background, though, there was a coup after juan perón's presidency beginning in 1976. the dictatorship, as is common with most dictatorships, was terrified of any insurgency and began rounding up anyone who opposed the military. unfortunately, hundreds of people who were unaffiliated with the resistance movement were also kidnapped. of those captured, as many as 130 young girls were pregnant. they gave birth in prison and their children were either killed, abandoned or adopted by military families. most of their mothers were murdered. to this day, almost 35 years later, las abuelas de la plaza de mayo (grandmothers of the plaza de mayo) are still looking for their grandchildren. they don't necessarily want to bring them back into the folds of their family but rather believe that the children, adults now, have a right to know where they came from. remember that most of these kids were raised by military families, raised to believe that the dictatorship was just and right and their replacement by democratic government was a mistake. obviously, it would be incredibly difficult for these kids to intertwine themselves with families who were victimized by their adoptive parents. anyway, las abuelas are still very much active in la plaza de mayo and their pañuelos (handkerchiefs) are painted on the ground in the plaza.
la casa rosada is not where the president lives but is where she, and the executive offices, conduct their business. i didn't actually go inside but from what i heard, the guards were a lot more interested in flirting with the american girls than guarding the place. i wasn't that surprised..
on saturday, we went to eva perón's museum. that girl, besides being a wonderful human being, had a kiiiilller fashion sense. i wish i had been awake enough to take pictures of all her dresses to show you. we went to a little neighborhood called la boca (the mouth). la boca is said to have had some influence in the development of tango and every restaurant had live music and tango dancing. i definitely had myself some fun with the tango dancer (:
on saturday night, we went to a tango show which included dinner. oh my eff. the dinner was ridiculously good (as was the lunch buffet the day before. i definitely ate my weight in chocolate at the buffet... i have no idea where this sudden obsession with chocolate has come from considering how much i used to hate it..) and except for a piece of chicken that was hidden in my salad and i accidently bit into, it was both a wonderful meal and a wonderful show.
sunday, though, was hands down my FAVORITE day of the trip. we spent the entire morning at artisan's fairs and all the culture i've been looking for, all the people i've wanted to talk to on this trip, i found there. the first artist we stopped to talk to was originally from colombia but couldn't stand staying in one city for too long and so has been traveling up and down latin america for years. he lives off the money he makes from his jewelry and while we stopped to talk to him, he made my friend and i matching rings to remember each other by.
every street corner had live music and dancing and i can't really tell you how many times we stopped just to listen. i've been to a loot of live shows in the states but nothing really compares to the way these artists truly feel the music. as you watch them, it's as if you can tell that the music is coming from a place deep within their souls and it always affects me the same way. i don't think i have ever felt any better than i do when i watch live, unadulterated music that's not played for commercial or money-making purposes but truly comes from a place deep within. its infectious.
we talked to other artists, too, but only one more stood out to me.
he caught my attention because he was wearing a shirt with an om emblazoned across it. if you've read my previous posts, you know that i feel like a fish out of water here because i'm the only south asian i have ever seen in this country. to see a latin american man wearing an om shirt was definitely just as out of place. he was selling mandalas, which according to him, are like dream catchers but serve a greater purpose. instead of only focusing on dreams, mandalas are used to absorb bad energy and emit good energy. i bought one for myself made with green string, both because it's my favorite color and because green represents everything that has to do with mother earth. in essence, the mandala should help me stabilize myself and help me feel grounded, which at this point in my life, is certainly a necessity. i can also use all the good energy the universe has to give me as challenge after challenge arises during this incredible journey.
having bought my own mandala, i realized that i also wanted one made for someone who, i swear, shares my soul. i wanted hers personalized to fit her needs and i sat with him as he made her mandala. he was raised in the judeo-christian tradition and his mother was an aborigine and his father was from some south american country but i can't really remember which one. in any case, when he was a teenager, he stumbled upon eastern philosophy, the bhagvad gita (one of the hindu holy books) and, of course, the om. he said he was instantly drawn towards it and as he rebelled further and further from his christian upbringing, he started exploring the ancient magic of his mother's tribe. there, he learned how to make the mandalas. he said that whenever he feels stressed, he makes the mandalas because they not only serve other people when they buy them which in turns feeds him and gives him a place to sleep but also because he finds that it has a very healing effect on his soul. we thus started a conversation about souls and when i told him i think i have a very old soul, he said he thought the same thing the first time he looked into my eyes. in his estimation, i was a shaman in a past life which, according to what i want to do with the rest of my life, makes a heck of a lot of sense. i felt such a strong connection to him.
even if you don't believe in souls and are reading this and laughing at the load of bullshit, i'm sure its very easy to imagine how exciting it was to be able to have a very real, deep, philosophical conversation with an aborigine of latin america, who travels throughout the continent and has experienced so much. in the thirty minutes i sat with him, i feel like i got a very concrete understanding of his way of life and, quite honestly, to understand other people's cultures and ways of living is all i'm hoping to gain from this journey.
i left buenos aires feeling incredibly content. three days most definitely was not long enough to truly explore all the city has to offer & i absolutely cannot wait to go back.
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